Wow! Have I really been doing this for 11 weeks! Are you all crazy sick of these posts yet? I hope you all don’t mind them too much. It is very good for me to share my thoughts on the week and how things went.
This week was pretty normal. I have been working A LOT on the giveaways that we are running with this fun Blogiversary. Don’t you just love it?! But, unfortunately that means that I have been spending a lot more time in front of a computer and not being very active. It’s no wonder that I only lost 1 pound this week. Still, coming off of a 4 pound loss last week (while on vacation) I will take it. If the scale is moving down, I am happy. I am also over half way to my first goal, which is to get under 200 pounds. Every week it is creeping closer and closer. I have now lost a total of 33 pounds! Doing a happy dance!
Since I have been spending even more time than normal on the computer (and normal is a lot – just so you know) I have been seeing my Facebook photo a lot!
So I am going to share it with you:
This is a photo that was taken in June. My family decided to head to a local park that has some ducks. We had been playing and feeding the ducks when some nice man asked if we wanted a picture of all of us together. Well, we don’t have many of those {I don’t like pictures of me} so I said yes.
Here is the bigger picture:
At least that is the one I posted on Facebook. I still don’t love it. I am obviously a BIG girl and there is no hiding that. But it isn’t a bad picture. We had been playing all day, so I was pretty happy that I still looked decent. So I went ahead and posted it on Facebook. But here is the ugly truth…. That is NOT the entire picture. What? Did I photoshop it? No….if I was any good a photoshop, I might have. But since I’m not, I did what I could and CROPPED IT! That is right. The Cropping feature has been my best friend for a long time.
Here is the actual picture:
Yikes! There it is. The truth. The REAL me. The way I actually look. Or did, in June, stomach and all. {Go ahead, go back up and compare it to the first one. You will see a big part left out.} You see, for years I have been cropping my pictures. Hoping that somehow people wouldn’t notice how big I am. People wouldn’t see the real me. Maybe to fool myself that I didn’t really look that way.
It is strange to gain so much weight. I have never seen myself as Fat. In fact, I’m not just fat, I’m the big O. Dude, I still can’t say it. I’ve never been able to refer to myself as obese. It is such an ugly word in my opinion. I HATE HATE HATE that word. But the truth of the matter is, I am the Big O. Not just O, but Morbidly O. Oh…great…let’s use the word morbidly, that will make me feel better about myself. Ugh!
Yeah, it sucks when you don’t feel huge, but you are. And you want to hide it from the world. Maybe if I just crop this picture people won’t know…. Well, guess what, I wasn’t fooling anyone except myself. Thankfully, I have dear friends and family that love me for me. M.O. and all!
Unfortunately, I have been fooling myself for far too long. I am tired of being treated differently because of my size. I am tired of doing things differently, or not doing them at all, because of my size. But most of all I am tired of trying to hide myself from the world, and in doing so, I have forgotten who I am inside. I have been so focused on hiding myself that I have forgotten the fun and outgoing person that I am.
Well, no more! Here is my picture from today. There is NO CROPPING on this one! This is me. Take it or leave it. Sure, I am 33 pounds lighter {can you see it?} but I am still big. Very Big, and you know what! It’s ok. It’s me. I’m owning it…and I am changing it…
Congratulations! I can see a big difference in your face, keep up the great work!
you’re awesome, Becky! Thanks for sharing your experiences with us.
Yay!!! I can definitely see the difference. Keep it up, or down… or just keep going – you are awesome. 🙂
Oh Becky you are one of the most beautiful people I know inside and out! You are doing amazing. Your posts are inspiring keep it going! Love you!
You look so amazing!! Congrats!! You definitley inspire me to be healthier!
What a beautiful post. You look amazing…you are amazing.
Thanks for posting this. You could be telling a story about me. I am at almost the same weight and feeling those same feelings. Most days I am happy and confident, but when I see a picture of myself it always stings a little to realize how fat I am. It’s ridiculous that being fat makes people treat us differently, but it really is true. Keep up the great work. You are beautiful no matter what size you are!
You look fantastic, Becky! Way to go.
Don’t we all crop? 🙂 You can tell it in your face just not by your weight loss on you face but you are happier. Go! Becky Go! Keep it up
Becky, thanks for sharing and keep it up! I have been ill since last October, it causes increased fatigue, hence my normal exercise routine has been hampered and I’ve put on twenty + lbs. I’m struggling to get these unwanted pounds off! You’ll do it, I know. Cropping is the best!
Just so ya know, I have always thought you were a really beautiful person. I know your family thinks that also. I am glad that you are seeing improvement with your weight, but you are important and great with or without it. Best wishes!
Own it and do it! I think that is awesome you are working to change things and are up front about it. Good luck!
Great job Becky! Keep up the good work. I can totally see a difference. I need to lose weight as well. For years I haven’t let pictures be taken of me and then I started blogging and I have had to push myself out of my comfort zone. So now I have a few picture of me. Thanks for the inspiration – I totally need to do something about my weight.